'Living well, leaving well': Yishun end-of-life art exhibition allows seniors to demystify death, document life

SINGAPORE — Until nine months ago, 70-year-old Devi Maniam could hardly have imagined that pictures of her home-cooked chicken rendang and roti jala would become part of an art exhibition focused on end-of-life conversations. 

However, that was before she became a senior collaborator on Tides, an exhibition bringing together the artistic creations and experiences of eight senior women who regularly attend the Wellness Kampung @ 765 Nee Soon Central. 

Her family’s favourite dishes of hers — ghee rice, fried chicken and chicken curry — have been documented in a series of photos titled From Atha to You, taken by her daughter.

The pictures are overlaid with handwritten messages exchanged between Madam Devi and her grandchildren.

“Without this project, I wouldn’t have done so much... the posters, I get to see my grandchildren’s messages," Madam Devi said.

Her grandchildren calls her "atha", or grandmother, and have written, "I love you so much", "from young I’m eating your food", "I’m so grateful to you".

DEMYSTIFYING DEATH

Tides is an exhibition based on the themes of “living and leaving well” situated in Yishun, the latest offering from the Both Sides, Now programme run by arts-based community development organisation ArtsWok Collaborative. 

The exhibition, located at the void deck of Block 765 Yishun Street 72, pairs seniors' art works with their familiar neighbourhood centre spaces.

Madam Devi’s cooking-related photo series, for example, is located in the kitchen of the Wellness Kampung, where seniors get together to cook and “share a pot” on Wednesdays. 

Some other highlights include a short film about three seniors learning to swim and a mixed-media installation on a tree inspired by the umbilical cords of one collaborator’s daughters, which she has kept.

The exhibition’s programmes offered practical support to visitors in planning end-of-life matters, including a talk explaining end-of-life arrangements such as wills and lasting powers of attorney.

Earlier editions of Both Sides, Now have tackled the taboo of discussing death, with the 2021 project focusing on similar themes in the Malay-Muslim community. 

This year’s edition is unique, however, as a pilot project for a longer-term community development approach. 

Led by socially engaged artist Salty Ng Xi Jie, the first phase of the project began with weekly meetings in June last year, where eight women shared their life stories and values.

The artist regularly spoke with the seniors in one-on-one conversations to get a better sense of their life stories and what creative approach they could take to share their ideas.

The group also went on excursions to Japanese Cemetery Park and the Asian Civilisations Museum to study end-of-life customs across different cultures. 

Madam Devi said: “Before I didn’t like to talk about this subject, too, because it’s a sad subject. Living well, you enjoy your life with all your families.

"But leaving well, your beliefs leave the world, you have to leave your loved ones... we have to be ready for that. Death is natural, no one can stop it.” 

Agreeing, Ms Ngiam Su-Lin, co-founder and executive director of ArtsWok Collaborative,  said that the project gave the women the chance to learn the “vocabulary” of discussing death, based on their own stories.

“Death and dying doesn’t have to be scary, it is important to talk about it and there are many ways to do so,” Ms Ngiam added.

“It’s not always so direct and overt, like, ‘Can we talk about death or dying?'

"It really is through stories, memories, our wishes, our legacy, what difference do we want to make with our time here.”

GAINING CONFIDENCE TO CO-CREATE

In addition to raising awareness on end-of-life matters, senior collaborators said that this experience has helped them gain confidence in art-making and articulating their thoughts.

The senior collaborators were involved in planning and leading various talks, tours and conversation circles to continue discussions on end-of-life matters with visitors.

On one such tour last Saturday (March 16), three seniors co-led groups of their own around the exhibition with volunteers, sharing anecdotes about their own life and that of their fellow collaborators.

Before she led her tour, Ms Magdalene Yap, a 71-year retiree who is a caregiver to her 91-year-old mother with dementia, performed a reading from her art work called Feelings of a Dementia Caregiver. 

Addressing the crowded space at Wellness Kampung, she read her letter to caregivers: “Caregiving requires a lot of patience and love.

“Let’s come together and encourage one another to continue with what we are doing so that life can be better, more meaningful and happier for ourselves, and those we love and care for.” 

Ms Yap’s exhibit is a series of images of her and her mother in their daily routine, such as bedside exercises or playing the tile-based game Rummikub.

These images are paired with her letter acknowledging the burnout she experiences, in order to help other caregivers feel less alone and raise awareness on the support carers need.

“We didn’t realise we could do projects like this, especially to call it artwork. I could never imagine that at this age, we could do something like that,” Ms Yap said.

Ms Ngiam from ArtsWok Collaborative said that the exhibit was meant to “amplify” the voices of senior women, who tend to be “invisible” and “put themselves down”. 

“If given time and given the space, attention, a safe and nurturing environment, they are absolutely capable and want to have their voice heard.

"They have a lot they want to contribute and have conversations about things that might be difficult or taboo for them,” she added. 

On plans to expand the project, Ms Ngiam said that the project’s approach was of “seeding and building capacity within communities”, such that they will continue to support each other to “live and leave well”.

One ongoing project is the Single Seniors Club, a peer support group for single seniors to stay active, where the group meets monthly to share meals, do leisure activities and discuss anything from health tips to world news.  

As for the exhibition’s next steps after it closes this week, that will be senior-led as well, as the project takes a “by community, for community” approach, Ms Ngiam added. 

“We want (Tides) to continue beyond these nine months, to see how the community wants to evolve this work. We’re waiting for them to let us know as well, from here, what else would I want?". 

Tides runs until March 20 from 10am to 6pm at Wellness Kampung @ 765 Nee Soon Central, #01-366 Yishun Street 72. Admission is free.