What happens when a family member dies overseas? This is one man’s story of bringing the body home
Learning that a family member has died abroad can be traumatising. A Singaporean opens up to CNA on his experience handling the repatriation of the body, so others can be better prepared.
The process of repatriating a loved one's body when they die overseas includes looking for funeral homes and sorting out travel insurance claims. (File photo: iStock)
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SINGAPORE: First comes the crushing blow. Then, a precarious balancing act to regain stability.
The sudden passing of a loved one can be a traumatic and distressing experience. But when they die overseas, the additional task of repatriating their body may require one to temporarily put grief on hold – or at least maintain a degree of level-headedness to sort out the logistics and grapple with loss at the same time.
For almost two weeks in November 2023, this was Mr Kenny Ng’s reality.
His family’s Taipei holiday was cut short when his father-in-law, who was on the trip with several other relatives including Mr Ng’s wife, suffered a brain aneurysm towards the end of the vacation.
Mr Ng, who had stayed back in Singapore, found out from his wife that his father-in-law had been admitted to a hospital after asking to go. This was a “very alarming” request from the elderly man, who Mr Ng described as a resilient person with high pain tolerance.
The hotel where the family was staying promptly called a taxi – but during the approximately 10-minute ride to the hospital, the elderly man fell unconscious. A blood vessel in his brain had burst.
"WE WERE ON OUR OWN"
Back in Singapore, Mr Ng's first port of call was the insurance company.
“(I thought about) what needs to be done. I had to pore through the whole policy document, read through every clause,” the 42-year-old told CNA.
“If (my father-in-law) had to transfer to another hospital, we needed to inform (the insurance company) so they could do the necessary. Because if you were to do certain things without informing them, the policy might not cover it. So there was always this worry at the back of my mind.”
Meanwhile in Taipei, doctors found a brain haemorrhage in Mr Ng's father-in-law, and advised the family to move him to a larger hospital for surgery.
But by the time he was transferred, blood had almost filled up his brain. A doctor in the larger hospital told the family the prognosis was “not looking too good”, and asked if he should stop treatment.
“It came to a point where we knew my father-in-law was probably not going to make it,” said Mr Ng, who told the insurance company he might need to repatriate his father-in-law to Singapore.
But without a medical report, they were unable to provide advice on coverage.
“We were pretty much on our own ... We felt pretty lost then,” added Mr Ng, who took the next flight out to be with his family.
FOREIGN MINISTRY STEPS IN
Thankfully, a couple of people in Singapore told Mr Ng's family that they could contact the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MFA) – and so Mr Ng called MFA’s Singapore Trade Office in Taipei.
Officers there provided a list of Taiwan funeral homes for the family to contact directly. After the family appointed one, the officers told Mr Ng they could help liaise with the home and provide the necessary paperwork.
In response to CNA's queries about what Singaporeans can do when a family member dies overseas, an MFA spokesperson shared that bereaved kin can look for the nearest Singapore overseas mission for help.
The mission would be able to give advice on the procedures and documentation required for funeral services, local cremation or the repatriation process.
MFA also facilitates by reaching out to local authorities in the country where the deceased passed away, to get the necessary approval and documentation to repatriate the body.
What the ministry is unable to accede to, however, are requests like investigating the cause of death, making insurance claims on behalf of the family, providing legal advice, settling outstanding bills of the deceased and paying for funeral services or repatriation of the body or remains.
A guide for bereaved families on MFA’s website also details the services that consular officers can provide.
"Singaporeans are strongly advised to e-register with MFA, so that we may contact them in the event of any crisis," added MFA's spokesperson.
While Mr Ng handled liaising arrangements, his wife had to find new accommodation for everybody, preferably near the hospital. And as the weather was turning cold, they had to buy new clothes too.
“The most impacted was my mother-in-law. Everybody was trying to stay positive, making sure she didn't collapse from the grief. It was really overwhelming," he said.
5 steps you should take as a next-of-kin notified of a death
1. Ensure the deceased's death is registered with authorities in the country where they died, and obtain a death certificate
The name on the death certificate must be the same as the name on their Singapore passport or identity card.
If the cause of death is not due to natural causes, you should also request a police report.
2. Confirm if the deceased purchased comprehensive travel insurance that covers death and repatriation of remains
If so, notify the insurance company immediately.
3. Decide if it's necessary for any next-of-kin to travel to identify the remains
If so, make the necessary arrangements. This includes collecting the deceased’s personal belongings and liaising with an overseas funeral director.
If travelling overseas, at least one next-of-kin should bring a valid document (birth certificate or marriage certificate) as proof of relationship to the deceased.
4. Decide whether to repatriate the body to Singapore, or cremate the deceased overseas and bring back the ashes
Alternatively, you may choose to bury their remains there, subject to local regulations.
5. Appoint a funeral services provider both overseas and in Singapore
If you decide to repatriate the body to Singapore, appoint a funeral services provider who is familiar with international repatriation arrangements and requirements.
If any next-of-kin would like to travel on the same flight as the coffin, inform the appointed overseas funeral services provider in advance, so arrangements can be made.
Once transportation details are confirmed, MFA can help convey the information to the National Environment Agency's Port Health Office to facilitate clearance procedures when the body arrives in Singapore.
FINDING FUNERAL HOMES
While a list of Taiwan funeral homes was helpful, Mr Ng also had to look for one in Singapore - that would be familiar with repatriating a body from Taiwan.
He planned to call each Taiwan funeral home on the list to ask when they last handled a similar case where they had to liaise with a Singapore counterpart. He would then request the latter’s contact, he reasoned.
The only hurdle? Mr Ng needed a Taiwanese phone number. The alternative was to pay for roaming on his Singapore number.
But a SIM card could only be purchased from a Taiwan telco store with certain identifying documents like a passport, he explained, and the family was "racing against time" to call the funeral homes as it was already the end of the day.
"Waiting for the next day to apply for a SIM card could have significant knock-on effects and potentially delay the entire repatriation process," he said.
“A lot of these details, it won’t hit you until it hits you. We even tried checking with our hotel whether we could use their phone. They said no, but said what we can do is buy a calling card (to use on) those public phones outside convenience stores."
In the end, a Taiwanese friend of the family stepped in to help.
Mr Ng eventually found a funeral home in Taiwan that had worked with a Singapore counterpart, and appointed them both.
“(Both the funeral homes) communicated between themselves … but the Singapore funeral director was nice enough to keep me up to date with updates from the Taiwanese side. Fortunately for us, that arrangement worked out. It would’ve been different if I didn’t feel comfortable with (letting) the Singapore side (handle matters for us),” he said.
While families, as next-of-kin, are usually required to identify the deceased and sign off on official documents such as death certificates, funeral homes can assist in processes overseas as “every country may have different practices”, said executive director for the Association of Funeral Directors (Singapore) Hoo Hung Chye.
They also work closely with the family, paying attention to specifics like religious rites and cause of death, to “best present the deceased in a dignified manner, according to (their) wishes”, Mr Hoo told CNA.
“Families have to decide and give instructions on the final dispositions – whether it is to cremate or conduct a burial at the foreign country, to cremate and repatriate the ashes, or to repatriate the whole body.
“Funeral homes would give their best advice and options available. Depending on how remote or accessible (the location of the death), all the various modes of transport are considered.”
FLYING HOME
To bring the body back to Singapore, families must first have a coffin (import) permit, which can be applied for through the National Environment Agency’s online portal. This procedure can be handled by the appointed funeral director in Singapore.
“The process of repatriating a body back to Singapore is like exporting and importing something into Singapore, just that now the thing is not goods or livestock. It is a dead body,” said Mr Ng.
His father-in-law’s body was flown back to Singapore in the cargo hold of a commercial flight. The air ticket was secured by the Taiwan funeral home, he told CNA.
The home also had to certify that the body had been embalmed and received the necessary quarantine and infection checks before leaving Taiwan. If, for instance, the deceased had an infectious disease, the cadaver would have to be cremated.
Once the body landed in Singapore, the local funeral home Mr Ng appointed took over.
His family had initially asked if they could fly home on the same flight.
“We worried that his soul would still be stranded in Taiwan. So we wondered if someone could accompany him. But we couldn’t, because he’s in the cargo space," said Mr Ng.
"Even if (a) person flies back with him, they would be in the usual passenger cabin."
HELP AND HOPE ALONG THE WAY
Reflecting on his experience two months after his father-in-law’s death, Mr Ng noted in hindsight that nuances in intercultural communication matter more than one expects.
In his case, for instance, a hospital in Taipei had assumed the “medical report” requested by the family for insurance purposes was a “final” report issued after the patient had been discharged or received treatment.
So the family roped in their Taiwanese friend who, aside from having loaned them his phone number, doubled up as their interpreter.
They then realised, in fact, that the initial diagnosis report would have been sufficient.
Amid the chaos, the family had also overlooked religious rites for his father-in-law, who was Buddhist. When the funeral home found out, they fit in prayers at the last minute.
Mr Ng acknowledged that his family was fortunate they weren’t in a country where they didn’t speak the language at all, or in a rural area.
“At the end of the day, I hope it’s something nobody has to go through. If it happens in Singapore, it’s already bad enough,” he said.
“One, you have to deal with the loss and the shock. At the same time, you have to maintain a somewhat level-headed (attitude) and be very systematic. Remember to keep the insurance company involved, do the liaising, (find new) accommodation.
"And you have to take care of yourself.”
